When on vacation, you spend most of your time checking emails and returning phone calls—handling one situation after another.
You don’t quite remember the last time you and your family had dinner together due to your frequent travel schedule—and you’ve missed most of your kids’ events.
Your family and friends strongly urge you to “get a life.”
Any of those scenarios sound remotely familiar? If so, you’re certainly not alone.
In a survey of 3,000 employees nationwide conducted by the Families and Work Institute, results revealed that over the past two decades the average time we spend in a full-time job has jumped by nearly four additional weeks annually. This is the same figure that Juliet B. Schor’s study indicated in her book, “The Overworked American,” one of the first publications to address what she coined as “the decline of leisure.” In our fast-paced, frenetic world the distinction between work and leisure has blurred.
It’s easy to have your life spin out of balance before you realize it for many different reasons—including temporarily to achieve a specific goal or to simply catch up at times. If you feel that your work has taken control of your life, there are steps you can take to regain—or gain—a sense of balance.
Because life is fluid, work-life balance does not mean an equal balance. It’s unrealistic and unnecessary to try and schedule an equal number of hours for professional and personal activities. Instead, your individual work-life balance will vary on a daily basis and over time. The right balance for you today will differ from tomorrow because there is no perfect, one-size fits all balance that you should be striving for.
Achievement and enjoyment of life are two key concepts that are at the core of our life values in our country. Therefore, meaningful daily combination of achievement and enjoyment in each of the four life quadrants—work, family, friends and self—defines work-life balance. A balanced life requires paying attention to all areas—your health and fitness, family, recreation, career, financial, social and spiritual activities (such as the spirit of church and/or the spirits of learning, love, adventure and energy).
To provide a competitive advantage, many leading US companies have work-life programs, policies and practices in place—such as flextime, telecommuting, child care, elder care, family leaves (paternity, maternity, etc.), job sharing, employee assistance programs, in-house stores/services, gym subsidies, fitness programs, concierge services, vacation and more. However, to be effective, work-life balance requires a two-prong approach beyond the framework of what a company does for its employees—to what individuals can do for themselves.
Balance is a journey, and you hold the key. By developing a plan, you will be able to maintain a sense of balance and to grow in each area of your life. The process is very similar to creating a business plan. You begin by soul searching and writing down your responses to the following questions:
1. What are my core values and priorities? What’s important to me, and am I living out my life based on those values? Examples of core values are: personal development, money earned, personal relationships, family time, independence, security, helping others, variety, etc.
2. What are my dreams, including personal and professional goals? For example, first write down everything that you want for your life and your career. Then—here comes the hard part— write down your “must haves” for your life and career. Be specific. Examples could include career advancement, financial security, traveling around the world, taking a professional sabbatical, studying a lifelong interest, going on a safari, etc.
3. Do I make time to pursue and enjoy my interests? If you don’t think you have any, what would you do if you had all the time in the world to spend exactly as you wish? Examples: traveling to a place you have always wanted to visit, reading novels, writing a book, home improvement projects, playing sports, photography, etc.
4. Am I taking the time to keep myself healthy and fit? Examples: Begin a home exercise program, join a health club, take an exercise class, etc.
5. Am I spending enough quality time to continually develop and strengthen relationships with my family members or significant others? Ways to connect or reconnect with your family and other people who are important in your life may include time spent together having dinner, taking vacations, simply talking, etc.
6. Where do I (or my family and I) want to live? If you are able to relocate, where would that be—what city/state/country? What would be the timetable? For example: after your last child completes the school year or the last year of high school.
7. Am I enjoying my work? If not, what’s missing—what would you change about your professional life? Examples include increased income, reduced working hours, shorter commute, opportunity to telecommute, career advancement or downsizing, career change to a different type of position either internally or externally, etc. If you are contemplating negotiating a reduction in your responsibilities or hours, first think about the nature of your position, your company’s needs and your manager’s potential reaction. For instance, recognize that if your position doesn’t lend itself to flextime, you won’t be able to negotiate it. Avoid jeopardizing your career by anticipating concerns and identifying ways to address them before you follow through with this conversation. Ultimately productivity is the bottom line. To be successful, you will need to assure your supervisor that your employer is getting its money’s worth.
8. Do I have a retirement plan? Identify when you want to retire and what you want to do with that chapter of your life. Examples: relocate, choose a “retirement” career, volunteer in the community, travel, take classes for fun or learning, etc.
9. Am I maintaining existing friendships, building new ones and spending time with them? Examples: an evening on the town with your best friend(s), establishing new relationships through community involvement or making time to help a friend with a personal project, etc.
10. Am I giving back and feeling connected to my community? If you derive satisfaction from being active in your community, think of ways in which you may volunteer your time or skills. Examples may include coaching youth sports teams or serving on a committee at a non-profit organization whose mission is important to you.
In creating your work-life plan, you can develop a 2-year, 5-year, 10-year plan or whatever you prefer—identifying an area to focus on, as needed. The important point is to set measurable goals so that you can see areas of progress and areas that need change or improvement. It’s a fluid, adjustable plan that changes with you and your life’s circumstances.
Implement and evaluate your plan to make certain that each goal is realistic while giving you an opportunity for growth. Select someone to share your goals with and to keep you accountable. Since goals, priorities and situations won’t remain the same as you move through life, revisit your plan goals once or twice a year and adjust accordingly.
Here a few steps you can take to help you on your journey toward life balance:
* Implement a new routine that will help you unwind each day after work, beginning with a change to “off-duty” clothes, listening to your favorite music, practicing meditation or other methods of relaxation that will help you leave your work at the office mentally.
* Create non-negotiable blocks of personal time once or twice a week of at least 30 minutes each. Record it on your schedule and treat it as you would any other appointment. Use the time for non-work related activities—to read a book, get a massage, take a walk in the park—whatever you choose.
* Once you are clear on what is a priority in your life (see #1 in the section above), begin to say “no” to those things that move you away from life balance to those that are more aligned with your personal values.
* Identify thoughts that stand in the way of balance in your life and explore ways to get past them. They include feeling guilty about wanting to focus work-life balance, fear of change, perfectionism, constantly putting everyone else’s needs first, living to meet the expectations of others at home or work.
At a time when work has become all-encompassing and the future is fraught with uncertainty, carving your own version of a balanced life can help you not only to regain some control, but also to enjoy it more.