BUSSINESS PSYCHOLOGY FOR SUCCESS: Communicate Your Likability
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Success in business often depends on something you may not have given much thought to. This mysterious X-factor is likability. Likability is an accumulation of several personal characteristics that other people quickly perceive and judge in a positive or negative way. Likability makes everything else easy and paves the way for you to be successful by having a positive influence with people. On the other hand, unlikability builds barriers that are difficult to overcome and leads to failure. The real challenge is to communicate your likability.

Over the years our field research has confirmed eight simple ways to communicate your likability and improve chances for success in business.

LAUGH

If you don't have a sense of humor you are in serious trouble with all the stress in the business world! Moreover, the single most important thing that seems to influence peoples' perceptions of others as being likable is a sense of humor. Displaying good humor may mean anything from telling funny jokes to laughing easily to being fun-loving. The point is, showing some type of appropriate humor is extremely valuable in being perceived as likable. Build up your good humor bank with joke books, Internet and e-mail humor, comedy TV and movie shows, funny videos and occasional trips to the zoo.

BE HONEST

Dishonesty of any sort is quickly perceived as a very disturbing and unlikable. It also carries a "permanent" connotation that isn't easily erased. Honesty is a deeply held value and can run all the way from your surface sincerity and "realness" to your basic ethics and morality. Conversation or behavior that isn't totally honest waves a red flag that causes other people to back off and not trust you. Trust is necessary for good communication and good communication is the main tool in business.

The defensiveness typically caused by even minor dishonesty shuts down communication. There are many verbal and non-verbal indicators of dishonesty to watch for, including elusive eye contact, contradictory body language, tone and flow of voice, behavioral inconsistencies and aggressive posture. Keep in mind that there is nothing more appealing than the truth spoken clearly and gently (and humorously if appropriate).

LISTEN MORE

People generally like good listeners and dislike interrupters. This is because we all want to be understood and treated politely. We think we have a lot to say but often when we take the time to listen better, we may find that we don't really need to say as much. And, good listening always tells you what you need to know in order to give the best response.

Probably the easiest way to increase your likability is to become a better listener. You can do this by talking less and giving the other person your full attention. Be patient and tune out all your distractions so you can truly understand the other person. What could be easier and more productive than that?

BE POSITIVE

Just like dishonesty, negativity of any sort is a quick turnoff with people. Unlikable negativity can include a wide variety of things such as anger, pessimism, complaining, worrying, frustration, jealousy, moodiness or criticism. Negativity is generally associated with people who do not believe in their own power to change things for the better.

If you are leaning toward negativity and risking being seen as unlikable, it is time for you to deal with whatever it is that is making you unhappy. The negative belief in the inability to control the situations you are in is only a belief and a false one at that. You may have to do things that may be uncomfortable at first, but the opportunity to act in a way to get good results is always there for you.

LEARN EMPATHY

Empathy is high on the list of characteristics that influence likability. After all, we all want to be understood, valued as individuals, treated fairly and equally, accepted, and given genuine respect. Empathy is the quickest way to get people on your side. It is a powerful tool.

In developing empathy, judgments have to be replaced by acceptance, understanding and compassion. The best way to convey empathy is through your eyes and ears. The best way to show it is by treating other people the same way you want to be treated, rather than how you may think they want or should be treated. In this case, your actions will speak louder than your words.

APPEAR ATTRACTIVE

An attractive appearance that influences likability is not one based on physical looks alone. In fact it is based more on good grooming, hygiene, and fashion. Outward attractiveness is also greatly influenced by inner comfort, self-confidence, harmony and peace of mind.

Practice good grooming and hygiene, dress stylishly and get comfortable with yourself by taking advantage of the power of choice and doing what you need to do to get where you want to be. Your appearance will then take care of itself.

BE HUMBLE

People do not like arrogant, selfish or conceited people. We all prefer to be around humble, generous achievers. Knowing this reality, it should be easy to control your tendency to be self-centered, aloof or overbearing when dealing with others. Why would you want to do anything that is sure to brand you as unlikable and lead to inevitable failure?

Granted, we all want to be "somebody" but the quickest way to do this is to be likable. Likable people are successful and respected. They are somebody. Don't you prefer to ask others about their success, rather than hearing them bragging about it?

ACT SMART

Of all the characteristics that people use to determine another person's likability, this is the one that is most unclear. Intelligence can be assumed from many things such as good judgment, common sense, creativity, open-mindedness, clear expression, focused attention, or several other mental "skills."

Without knowing for sure how someone else is defining "intelligence," it is a difficult characteristic to demonstrate in order to be seen as likable. Personally, I think that growth is our main goal and that using whatever mental skills we have to become likable is the best application of intelligence. If you are likable you are using your intelligence productively.

Communicate your likability in these eight simple ways and improve the results you get in business transactions. The success you will achieve may surprise you.